maybe its futile, to sit here and type out these little paragraphs, considering this is the 3rd session, maybe this will be the last.
today was the first day i put the belt around my neck, for about 5 minutes i practiced the motions, it did have a strangle on me for a minute.
i waste all my days sitting in my room, or at some degrading job that serves no purpose, the suburbs kill. loneliness kills.
how many more days can i hope that it will get better? that somehow my situation will magically change for the better? in this life i wanted love, i wanted to feel the embrace of someone else, to live a life that was interesting and held significance. all i have been reduced to is...
camus...villeneuve...moore...the people i looked up to had so much vigor in their life, they had what i don't. im nothing special. im nothing great.
i think i am going to kill myself tonight, i dont know if i will make it to tommorrow.
thank you for reading.